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i hadn’t written in a while here u go

and all along, expecting this much from myself,
i gathered, mustered, collected strength in a burlap sack,
and i find myself spending more and more of it,
day by day,
minute by minute,
hurling it out car windows,
leaving it to field mice to nibble on,
and i, as a vine,
will hopefully entwine around some beautiful tree,
finding pleasure in its shade,
and madness in my pleasure,
all the same

i am scarcely reminded of former selves,
i have locks of hair, bits of cloth to remind me,
that logic scares love into a corner,
and ties it into a 2 year contract with guilt,
i wish to be unbound,
and fly away with all the pollen,
scattering amongst allergists to pick and pry
the particles apart and wonder
just what the hell they have gotten into,
oh wow double rainbow

This takes me back to the time that we would check on each other every few hours to make sure the other hadn’t changed drastically or died. And we kept notes on our experiences as human beings on earth. The sun ate our energy and the river drank our sadness and we ran away from creaky branches with tears in our eyes.

our interactions are thin,

we drape our thoughts all over,

losing track of the exact point of it all,

the trees are waking up,

much sooner than i ever did,

i am terrified that i am 1 out of 7 billion,

i am a tenuous child,

grasping at straws that have all but,

disappeared from my vision,

and i find that my relationship,

with the objects all around me,

has all but,

faded,

and that  just as soon i am likely to,

fade